I have since been informed that I had no reason to apologise. Oh well.

Today has been rather uneventful. I like it that way, because yesterday was quite busy.

I got to work at TPAC as a local stage hand on the tour of My Fair Lady. I love my job, because I get to work with the most interesting collection of people (the tour's sound engineer was really funny and cool... and he had a blue-green mohawk.) The down side is that its really demanding physical labor and today I don't really feel like moving much... and can't wear shoes because I was run over by a marly (dance floor material) cart.

I have never seen so many people look at me weird because I was wearing socks and sandles before... maybe because soccer season is over... or maybe because it was too cold for sandles.... oh well.... got some christmas shopping done (oddly enough, I wasn't shopping for what I was buying other people, but buying something for my grandmother to wrap and give to me) at least I knowI'm getting something good this year :)

so anyway, megs and kirk, I'm sorry.

Honestly, I don't know who all reads this, and because I can't figure out how to make the comment things work, I probably never will. But still, I have to hope that there are a few of my close friends who read this, because I can't get them on the phone and I need to apologise.
I honestly shouldn't have said the things I said. Not, that I didn't mean it but it really wasn't my place to say. And now I'm afraid that I've done some permanent damage to our friendship.... or she was just really busy this week and hasn't had a chance to call me back. But I feel really bad. I should keep my opinions to myself when it concerns other people's relationships, but that gets really hard when those in relationships are asking me for what they should do... and then not getting anything out of what I'm telling them..... if it goes on too long where I feel like I'm talking to a wall, then I get frustrated and say things I shouldn't.
I think I am officially out of the advice business. There just isn't anything I can say to help some people so I'm not going to try.
Maybe I shouldn't say I won't give anyone advice, because that would just go completely against my nature, but giving people advice about my friends when they are dating my friends is just weird.
So, if you want to know a good book, or what you should do to get the attention of the pizza delivery boy that I don't know.. then sure.... but nothing thats going to cause me to freak out or possibly hurt anyone else.
BLAH.

I feel like explaining something that I really should have last night on the phone, but brushed off with "but that was a lifetime ago"
Matt and I were talking and somehow we got on the subject of tatoos. He has one, I don't.... and I said something about how I almost killed Dave for getting one. I guess I half explained it because Dave was just getting it because of peer pressure and my reasons for not wanting him too.... but its more than that. At that time I thought I needed to keep control over everything, not just myself. And that was something I couldn't do at that time, so I was being really immature and not going with the flow of life, and accepting that Dave was doing what he wanted. I was immature at that time, I admit it. I was still fairly fresh out of highschool, so highschool behavoir was second nature to me. I could yell and storm out as well as anyone.
I must emphasize that I'm not that person anymore. What someone wants to do to themselves, as long as it causes no lasting damage, is fine with me. Tatoos do not consist of lasting damage, neither does piercings... its just something I chose not to do.
So, I guess I just really hope I didn't run Matt off by showing that I did have a controlling side, at one time. ::sigh::

I'm very proud of myself today. I stayed home (mostly) to get the living room decorated for Christmas. And with the exception of the video clutter on top of the tv and all the cords near my computer, I think it looks damn good!

Too bad mom will probably destroy it tomarrow. Not through ill intentions, but because its not Christmas with out the tree being over loaded with cheesy Hallmark™ ornaments. Right now it looks extremely Victorian with white lights, burgandy and gold velvet ribbon, burgandy and ivory velvet bows, and cream and gold glass balls.

The mantel is framed with white/silver velvet ribbon with a large burgandy bow and two burgandy stockings. Its topped with candles, angles, my love music mirror, and my mom's silly christmas pig tea pot (had to leave some of mom in the room)

You REALLY can't go back. And in all honesty, I don't think its a desireble thing to do really.
So, this comes to what I did last night. I went to see a play at my old highschool. I knew someone in the cast and had heard that it was an interesting script. Ya. The script wasn't too bad, but it left a whole lot of loose ends, but that wasn't the players fault at all.

The set, however, bugged me. It was a drawing room set with five doors, but the walls were shorter than the doors by about six inches. It didn't really do anything about the script or the playwrights intentions.

The lights also bugged me. I am aware that the school just bought an new lighting system and they wanted to play with them to their fullest capabilities, but turning on isolation spots, that were too wide, to allow one character to talk to the audience about his work with the other four. Three of whom were retarded and the fourth a sciczophrenic who thought he was a golf pro. If there had possibly been some sort of a fade division between the different lighting elements, rather than feeling like someone had flipped on a light switch, it might not have bugged me quite so much.

The thing about the production that bothered me the most had nothing to do with the actors, costumes, or any other element under the artistic staff's control. It was the audience. They were not the well trained audience of the civic theater that I have become accustomed to, it was an audience that would have been much happier at a sporting event. They were actually whooping at the appearance of certain actors. Very disturbing.... That and I'm completely convinced that the fact that I was in the same building that I still refer to as a prison. I was never happy there, and even though there is a different director there than when I was part of the program, I still don't think anything of value can cross those footlights.